don't you hate it when you get slapped in the face?

i do. and i hate to say it, but i should have listened when i was warned. i wish this wouldn't have gotten this far, and i wish i wasn't the bad guy. i've gone out of my way to make things right, and yet, you make me look bad. you take my words out of context, and use them to your advantage. why? i don't think i deserve this. i don't think i should have lost what and who i've lost. my brothers, friendships, the boy i loved, my church, i mean, how could you? i thought you were my "best friend" but, i'm better off, and i've gain someone i can't live without. i've grown much closer to courtney, and i'm exteremely thankful. i've learned to rely more on god, and know he'll get me through it all. i guess, i'm meant to be without these people, so be it. i'm sure if you read this, you'll start saying, "what are you talking about? thats not true. Lindsey, can you believe she said this?!" ect ect, and thats fine, i'm not pointing fingers, blaming or holding a grudge. thank you for teaching me a lesson, i'm sorry you had to ruin lives, mine included.